I just want you to know who I am
by Itisjustmyself
Summary: Bonnie was breathtaking. The long dark coloured curls, the soft caramel skin, the petite figure and those deep emerald eyes were beautiful, so beautiful that it hurt to see her sit there and not being able to hold her.
1. And I'd give up forever to touch you

**A/N: Here it is. My first VD fanfic and my first Bamon fic. I just stumbled across VD, because they were sending some new episodes. Season 2 just came out in Germany and I realized I really like the show a lot. And I instantly fell in love with Bamon. I mean, come on. How on earth can you not see the chemistry between those two? **

**This will be a short story with about 4 or 5 chapters, I think or maybe I'll just add more in this chapter, we'll see. I got the idea finished in my head but I have to write it down, and then I'll see how many chapters exactly. The plot is based around the lyrics of Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own VD, Bonnie or Damon or any show character mentioned in the story. And I also don't own the song Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls.**

**And now: Free the stage for**

**the judgy little witch & the sarcastic homicidal vampire**

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**_I just want you to know who I am__  
_**

_And I'd give up forever to touch you  
Cause I know that you feel me somehow  
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be  
And I don't want to go home right now_

Here he stood, watching the petite girl sitting on her bed. She had a laptop on her lap and was quickly typing something. He was outside her window, sitting on a branch and just watching her. He sat there, watching her as he did each night, after he had followed her through her whole day. Yes, he knew he sounded like some obsessed stalker and yet he couldn't help it. He had spend over 200 years on this earth, walking among thousands of peoples, experiencing and seeing more than most persons ever got the chance of, and yet the dark haired girl was one of the most memorable things in his hopeless existence.

Suddenly the girl stood up and walked over to her window, opening it and leaning out. "Damon, you know I can sense your presence?" she stated calmly, looking directly at me, even though the only thing she saw was a large black crow. "I am a witch. I feel the presence of everything around me and I know that you, Mr. Crow, are actually, more or less human." This was one of the things that fascinated me most about her. Here I was in front of her. A homicidal vampire, how she liked to call me, that could kill her any minute and yet she didn't flinch or back down, but stated her opinion openly and sarcastically. She wasn't afraid of me, not the tiniest bit, and I hadn't met a lot of mortal humans that weren't.

"Well, are you coming in or not?" The little witch asked leaning against her window frame. I nodded my head, which surely looked strange, seeing as I was a crow right now. Opening my wings I quickly flew inside her room and she closed the window behind me. She sat down again on her bed and looked at me. "And now?" she asked sarcastically. "You're going to change into human form, or not? Cause this conversation here seems kind of one sided. And I surely am not the one that appeared on the window of the other one in the middle of the night." I nodded once again and changed my form back to the normal vampire.

"Well hello there." I smirked at her, but she just raised her eyebrows at me. "And, what do you want?" "I don't know." I answered. "Just wanted to see you, I guess." "Okay." she looked strangely at me. "You are seeing me." I nodded and sat down next to her, looking straight in those emerald orbs of hers and she looked back. Time passed and I can't tell you if it was a few seconds or hours, but I couldn't bring myself to look away from the beautiful girl in front of me. Careful I moved a single curl that had fallen into her eyes, out of her face, before letting my hand linger on her cheek. "Do you know that you are beautiful?" I asked softly, feeling warmth creep into her cheeks as she blushed. "Thank you." she mouthed. "Yes, you are, way more beautiful than Elena or Katherine." And I wasn't lying to her. As she sat there in front of me, not moving a single inch I really noticed it. Elena and Katherine were pretty, but Bonnie was breathtaking. The long dark coloured curls that surrounded her face, the soft caramel skin, the petite figure and those deep emerald eyes were beautiful. So beautiful that it hurt to see her sit there and not being able to hold her.

"You know, you are the first person I've met in those centuries that I've spend on this earth, that made me wonder if immortality isn't more of a curse than of a blessing." I whispered. "Why would you say that?" "Because, you make me wonder if I really want to live in a world where you would age and finally die while I keep on living, not aging a single day in thousands of years. You're the person that makes me wonder if I should have been a better person all that time. And the person that makes me wonder if there is a way to give up my forever so I could spend a normal life with you." Bonnie opened her mouth to say something, but I quickly placed a finger over her lips, so she would be silenced. "Let me finish. I don't want to go away. I don't want to leave you, ever again. Because you are the only person that makes me feel alive again and the one that makes me feel like I can ever get better. Like I can ever be free from Katherine and like I can, someday, love again. You are the person that makes me fall in love again."

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**~ Thanks for reading. Please review. It means the world to me. ~**


	2. And all I can taste is this moment

**A/N:**  
I am really sorry, because it is terribly short. I worked on it for hours, but somehow I had writers block and I still don't like the outcome, but I have no more ideas for that paragraph of the lyrics. I promise the next chapter will be longer.

What I forgot to mention in the last chapter:  
This takes place right after the death of Sheila and right after Katherine told Damon she never loved him. And in this story Bonnie does not blame Damon for Sheila's death.

**Disclaimer:**  
I don't own the characters or the lyrics.

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_And all I can taste is this moment  
and all I can breathe is your life  
Cause sooner or later it's over  
I just don't want to miss you tonight_

Here I sat, starring at him, the person I was supposed to hate, the person supposed to be my enemy and yet I couldn't tear my thoughts away from this. All I had been thinking of, all that mattered had disappeared, everything that still existed was this moment. He sat there, telling me all those wonderful things, telling me he was falling for me and I knew, for that moment I wanted nothing more than to believe every word he said. I knew he wasn't like any other person I've ever met. He was different, good and bad different.

But maybe, that was exactly why he fascinated me when he sat there starring at me with those ice blue orbs.

I carefully placed my hand on his, feeling the spark that rushed through my body whenever we made contact. I knew that it was wrong for us to be here, next to each other, but I couldn't help it. Somehow it felt too good when he was here, when his skin to touched mine and when his gaze lingered on me.  
"Stay with me please." I said, my voice barely a whisper, but I knew he had heard it. "I'll stay as long as you want me to." he answered quietly. I scooted closer to him, placing my head on his chest. I felt his breath on my neck as he carefully and softly placed his lips on my pulse, making my blood tingle under his touch and a shiver go down my spine. I could hear his heart beat, a steady rhythm, right beneath my ear and feel his blood pulse through his body as he softly placed his arms around me. And rigth then and there, it felt like he was the only thing that held me together.

We just sat there, in total silence, none of us moving a single inch. It was wrong, but I couldn't stop. I knew that this moment would be over sometime, but I couldn't bring myself to end it any sooner than it needed to end. I knew that there were too many differences, too many problems between us, but the moment felt perfect as it was and I couldn't bring myself to bother about that now. Not a single second I expected it to last, we weren't meant to be like this, but nevertheless I was unable to pull away. I was unable to make him leave, because I needed him. I needed him, right here, tonight. I needed him to hold me, because I knew that I didn't want for him to go. I needed him to hold me and he needed me. We both were an emotional wrack, having been hurt and feeling lost and empty. Both of us felt this whole the person we had loved had left behind and as he needed me, I needed him, deeply and truly.  
"I promise not to give up on you, if you will do the same for me." I whispered before closing my eyes.

One of the persons, I had loved and cared for the most, had left me and that whole inside my heart seemed to tear me apart, more and more, each second. And somehow for whatever strange reason there may be, Damon was the person that understood that hurt the best. It wasn't Elena or Caroline that calmed me down and held me that night, it was Damon, the person that needed me to do the same for him.

And so I sat there letting him hold me, while the tears dropped down my cheek soundlessly.

And all I knew was that I needed him, because I didn't want to be alone, because I didn't want to miss him tonight.

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**~ Review please. It makes me write faster. ;) ~**


	3. And you can't fight the tears

**AN: Hey, guys. I know it's been ages and I am really sorry, but school was impossibly hectic (My teachers have all been going crazy) and my private life needed some attention too and somewhere between that all the writing got left behind. But here is finally the update.**

**I hope you like this and I really want to thank all of you that reviewed. **

**And here I have a shout out to those of you that aren't registered at fan fiction.**

_Ewalk 96_**: Thank you for your review. I appreciate it a lot. I hope you like the new chapter.**

_smilesx10_**: Thanks for the review. I am happy you liked the chapter and I hope you like the next one as well. Go Bamon!**

**And I want to thank my beta **_Lily CullenSalvatore_** for being the best beta anyone can wish for. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own TVD or the lyrics.**

**So here's the chapter. Hope you like it.**

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_And you can't fight the tears that are coming  
or the moment of truth in your lies _

Her skin pressed against mine. Hot to cold, as she warmed me all through. The situation we were in was strange, it was wrong, but it felt way too good. The grief that radiated in huge waves off the petite body I held in my arms did surely not ease my pain, but it gave me hope.

The little witch, as strange as it seemed, knew what I was going through and somehow it aided to know that I wasn't alone, alone with all that grief. My heart felt empty and hollow and at the same time it felt as if somebody was ripping it out of my chest.

I had spent so many years looking for Katherine and she had never wasted a thought for me. Katherine had chose Stefan over me, I knew it now and I knew Elena would do the same. My life long I was the second choice, always the substitute for my brother. But even though I knew that Katherine had never cared, I couldn't help but feel the hurt and pain aching in my chest.

The little witch sniffled softly and I felt teardrops seeping through my shirt and falling onto my bare arms. A burning feeling rushed through my eyes and I felt the tears well up in my eyes. How many days had I wasted looking for her, when she did not want to be found? How many tears had I shed over her, when she had never cared?

I felt the drops roll down my cheeks and watched as they disappeared in the curly hair of the young witch. I pulled her closer as the pain rippled through my body.

Bonnie turned in my arms, her wet face looking up at me. "I am sorry." She whispered. "For what?" I answered. "I know how you must feel about Katherine and I am sorry I never tried to get to know you better. I am sorry I judged you."

"Apology accepted and I am sorry, too, for every thing I have done. But you don't have to be sorry because of Katherine." I said.

The emerald eyes glanced at me and I felt as if they were looking into my soul as she spoke. "You don't really think I will believe that, do you?" she asked. "Damon, I know how you must feel, but you can't avoid the truth forever. You can't hide behind those lies as long as you live. You can't deny the truth, especially not when I can see the pain in your eyes." she whispered, before placing her hand on my cheek. "Sometimes it is okay to feel the hurt, Damon."

_When everything feels like the movies  
You bleed just to know you're alive_

I sat on my bed, tears dripping down my cheeks and his arms around me. I sat there with him, but somehow I was also far away. I felt his cold skin beneath my fingers as I slowly graced over his cheek and at the same time, I couldn't help but think I was dreaming. The situation seemed surreal, so surreal I was sure this was a dream. I was sure some kind of movie was playing in my head.

His tears felt wet against my skin as they mingled with mines. The pain in my chest ached and I felt as if he is the only thing that kept me from bursting into a thousand tiny pieces, the only thing that prevented the hole I felt inside me from swallowing me.

"I am a vampire." He states quietly. "I should be able to shut it all off." "Don't do it." I shake my head at him. "The second you shut it off, you shut off your humanity, Damon. She hurt you, life hurt you, but don't give away the remains of humanity in you."

"Why should I?" He whispered back. "Because, humanity is it what makes us all believe in you. You don't want to live your life hated from every body. You could be so much more, you just have to let her go and to believe in yourself." "Witch, I am dead. I have no life."

"And exactly this is the point where you are wrong." I said as I moved my hand down towards his heart. "Listen, Damon. When you don't shut off your feelings I can hear your heartbeat. I can hear the blood pulsing through your veins. You may have died a long time ago, but you still live."

I placed my hand around his wrist and scratched my nails over his skin, using magic to open it, before pulling it up to meet his gaze. "See, you bleed. Somebody that is death can't bleed." I said trying to convince him, the guy I was sure of that he was inhuman, that he was a monster, but this night he had showed me that there was more to him. He had showed me the thing that made Elena and Stefan believe in him, he had shown me his humanity.

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**~ Please review. I'll call Damon to give you a kiss. ~**

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**PS: I just realized how short this one is... In word it looked longer. I'll write more the next time.  
**


	4. And I don't want the world to see me

**A/N: So here it is. Finally. The last chapter of "I just want you to know who I am". Yes, I know and I am terribly sorry it has taken this long, but finally I had the time to sit down and write. I've got spring break right now, which allows me to write, but when I am in school it is nearly impossible to write anything. Well, I don't really know if I like the chapter. It isn't what I planned, but somehow I don't know...**

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**And I don't want the world to see me  
Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am**

I stared down at the little witch, feelings over flooding my mind as she looked at me with honesty and care in her eyes. She cared for me.

"Bonnie, I am dead. I died the day my own father shot me down…" "But…" "I died, but yes, somehow I am still alive." I whispered. "I know I could be human, I know I could stop this whole thing and let down this mask. I know, but I don't want to."

"Why?" she asked, her eyes glistering as she looked up at me. "Why would you stop living, although you got a second chance to do so? Maybe it isn't a life like the one you used to have, but you got another chance."

"Maybe I would be more willing to take that chance if I had seen that life held anything positive for me." I trailed off. Images of my past as human came flooding to my mind, each one more painful than the other one. The hurt in my chest seemed to expand as more and more pictures flashed up in front of my eyes.

"I can't stop the pain, but I can be there for you and try to ease it." The young witch whispered. "I can be here for you and listen."

"My human life was everything but easy." The words came off my lips hastily and indistinct. "Tell me." she whispered. "I was different. I soon learned to keep up a mask as my real face was considered inappropriate for those times. I was always second best to Stefan, never able to be good at anything."

"So that's why you are like this? You are afraid that everybody will prefer Stefan if you show your true self?" The young witch asked. "At least persons start to notice you when you are a monster." I whispered.

"Oh Damon." she sighed before hugging me again. "Have you ever thought that maybe you weren't born to live in those times? That maybe you were destined to meet Katherine so you could live on until the times came where your character would fit into the world better? Maybe you weren't supposed to live then, but to find someone that would choose you over Stefan?"

Her words sounded in my ears as I gazed at the petite girl. "Maybe…" I answered; my voice hoarse as I pulled her closer. Both of us grew silent for some minutes until I finally admitted, both to her and to myself. "I am afraid, afraid to be myself, because I don't think that they will understand me."

"Have you ever wondered if this is a mistake?" She asked me. "Life is vulnerable, even for you. It can be over in any second, life is made to be ended sometime and somehow and wouldn't it be wrong if nobody would ever know the true you?" And with those words she pulled out of our embrace and walked out of the room, leaving me behind on her bed.

The thoughts were racing in my head, maybe she was right. Anything around us was breakable and would eventually break. I may be dead and immortal, but a stake could end my existence easily. And Bonnie, she was even more vulnerable; her life could be over in seconds. She could vanish from this earth; her death could be caused by so many things, so maybe what she was saying was true after all.

Maybe, after all this year the time had come for me to live again and to be me again. Maybe after all this time I should try again, try to be who I am and try to let persons know who exactly I was.

"Bonnie!" I rushed out of her room and down the stairs into the living room, where I could hear her breathing. She was sitting on the couch as she looked up at me. "Yes?" "You are right." I admitted. "I never wanted to be who I am, because I was afraid that they would never understand me. I know now that it was wrong to shut off the humanity because I was afraid and I want to change it. You are right, life is vulnerable and precious and I don't think I am ready to let the whole world know what the real me is, but I'll try to find the one that won't chose Stefan over me."

She smiled slightly at me. "Try it, Damon. You will be happy someday. I promise." She whispered and pulled me close to her. We hugged again and this time I wasn't only listening to her heartbeat, but to two of them as they mingled together in a steady rhythm.

Finally I understood, and so I kept her close to me as I whispered the words, knowing I found the person that would chose me.

"_**I just want you to know who I am"**_

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_**~ Tell me what you think of the chapter? Review please. ~  
**_


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